2025 - Post Dong Clarity

 

🏈Championship Recap

Congratulations Sharukh! The league’s first back‑to‑back champion, and he did it by absolutely demolishing Tido. Sharukh and his squad were on another level this postseason with an average margin of victory of 85.6 points. He might go into the record books for the most dominant playoff run we’ve ever seen.

Thanks everyone for a great season and extra thanks David, Tido, & Bret for guest writing the league notes this year!

Next Season Preview

Draft order priority:

1 - David

2 - Adam

3 - CJ

4 - Andy

5 - Nathan

6 - Ben

7 - Jason

8 - Bret

9 - Tido

10- Sharukh

⭐ Year in Review: A Totally Unnecessary but Deeply Cathartic Recap

🏆 Sharukh’s Dynasty Arc

• Set a league‑record 177.98 in the semifinals.
• Averaged 85.6‑point playoff wins.
• Became the first back‑to‑back champion.
• Entered the “is this guy cheating?” tier of dominance.

The Thanos of our league. Inevitable.

🥄 Tido’s Rollercoaster

• Is actually a Michigan fan.
• Owns Michigan gear and attends games.
• Reached the finals again.
• Got obliterated by Sharukh’s Infinity Gauntlet.

Still a spoon.

🔥 Bret’s Year of Pain

• One of the highest‑scoring teams.
• One of the worst matchup luck streaks.
• Complained all season.
• Delivered a season‑low 68 in his biggest game.
• Santa placed him firmly on the naughty list.

His stocking contained only coal and confusion about the word “aggregate.”

📉 Jason’s Historic Collapse

• Early season juggernaut.
• Then lost five straight.
• Couldn't beat Tido
• Entered “next season’s rebuild” mode before Thanksgiving.

Hard Knocks: Fantasy Edition is calling.

📈 The Rise and Fall (and Fall… and Fall) of Ben

• Started 6–0, convinced I had solved fantasy football.
• The data whispered otherwise.
• Regression hit like a freight train.
• Finished on a five‑game losing streak, leaving 68 points on the bench like a man trying to speedrun the Sacko.

A Shakespearean arc. If Shakespeare wrote about Kyle Pitts.

🌽 Nathan: The FAAB Hoarder of the Heartland

• Highest leftover FAAB in the league.

• Finished with the 4th‑best offense.
• Posted the 5th‑best optimal lineup rate.
• Made the playoffs, then immediately lost in the first round.

The fantasy equivalent of the Colts, except you made the playoffs.

🧙 Andy’s Furlough Witchcraft

• Went from government furlough to fantasy sorcerer.
• 1-3 pre-shutdown to 3-3 during the shutdown
• Became the league’s first “shutdown‑powered playoff threat.”

Congress could never.

🩼 CJ’s Bo Nix Survival Tour

• Spent most of the season in Sacko danger.
• Carried by Bo Nix, Josh Jacobs, and pre‑injury Judkins.
• Somehow avoided disaster at the last moment.
• A season defined by chaos, vibes, and fear.

Barely survived, but survived nonetheless.

⚖️ Adam: The Perfectly Balanced King of Mid

• Avoided the Sacko by 12 points.
• Never won a title, never earned the Sacko.
• Lived permanently in the mid‑tier standings.
• The statistical opposite of Sharukh in every way.

The league’s human median.

🎅 David’s Sacko Journey

• Campaigned to change Sacko rules mid‑season.
• Lost credibility, games, and dignity.
• Posted a league worst 55-98 aggregate record.
• Needed just 13 points from his 271 bench points to avoid the Sacko.
• Instead received a personalized Santa video and a sleigh ride powered by Sacko trophies.

A holiday classic.

🎄 Final Thoughts

It was a season of miracles, meltdowns, mismanagement, and memes. A season where:

• Sackos flew.
• Coal was delivered.
• Projections lied.
• And somehow, Sharukh always won.

Here’s to next year, where hope springs eternal, David drafts first, and Bret still won’t understand aggregate.

📊Stats n' Stuff

So You Think You Can Dong?

Power Rankings

All Time Leader Board