2025 - Week 15

 🏈 Week 14 Recap

It's time for another guest written league note, just in time for the playoffs! We're going to recap action from the last week, preview the opening round of the playoffs, and spare some condolences for the 4 people who are on their way to Cancun early this year, as well as my proposition for who the true sacko should be 😉. But also it's just another chance for me to photoshop a Michigan hoodie into one of Ben's wedding photos.

In what has easily been the most competitive season in league history, a lot was on the line in week 14. Sacko, playoff seedings, and the final playoff spot. 5 teams came in at 8-5 which was wild! Me and Sharukh (sorry Sharukh and I) claimed the top 2 seeds respectively after fairly comfortably dispatching the Bigler brothers. Brandon Aubrey might need a QB or RB designation next season with the point totals he's been racking up.

With Andy's loss that opened the door for Bret to claim the 6th and final playoff spot. All he needed to do was match Andy's result since he had a much higher points total. But he left nothing to be questioned with his schlonging of Ben. Dave, Ben, and Jason all lost which means they head into the playoffs with as much momentum as the Colts have right now. Sorry that was poor taste, but the Browns just lost to the freaking Titans, let me have my moment. But now all bets are off (this betting comment has been sponsored by Draft Kings).

Sacko Surprise 🍆

Going into the final week there were also 3 teams with a chance to finish with Sacko! And even in the end all three teams finished 5-9 (really disappointed 6-9 is not possible...not nice). But the biggest loser and firmly grasping the sacko this season is....

DAVID!!! Congratulations sir. This is David's second dildo and first since 2018! He's won the coveted award by having the lowest point total by only 12 points. He'll be wondering where this season he could've gotten those points from. Adam again managing to avoid the coveted dong, he has yet to win it. And CJ came (pause) so close but so far. Or did he?? Should the sacko be awarded based on point total? Or a Sacko Bowl? I propose head to head results. And if we go back through the season in terms of wins against one another:

Adam 1 - CJ 0

David 2 - CJ 1

David 1 - Adam 0

I propose that CJ is the one true sacko! Because he lost both head to head matchups against David and Adam. I'll let the commissioner decide this, but change that mailing address to Denver.

Playoff Preview 🙊🙈

The bracket is as below (sorry might be a little blurry):

Sharukh and I get to kick our feet up and wait to see who we play next week (come back to me Drake London my sweet prince). But the matchups are spicy. First is Ben vs. Jason. Can Jason find some early season form, or will Ben continue his charge for a 4th league title and sit atop us all in that department. I eagerly await the winner.

IN THE OTHER CORNER, is Dave vs. Bret. Bret to me is the dark horse. Third highest point total, putting up good numbers the last few weeks. Can he pull off a Cinderella run and become the first ever number 6 seed to win it all? The Colts fanatics stand in his way. Out of all these 6 teams Nathan is the only won to not have won a league title. Can he break the duck (yes this joke will continue until he wins a statistically legitimate title).

🥄 Spoon of the Week 🥄

This is a tough one to pick because there aren't really any clear cut spoons this week (and obviously I'm not going to pick myself). But I'm going to have to pick Nathan! For owning Jalen Hurts. I don't think I've even seen a player throw a pick and fumble in the same play lol. In probably the most winnable matchup of the week having your QB and defense put up a combined 0.4 points when you lost by 23 does kind of hurt (pun intended).

That's all for me folks! Thank you for another year of pure chaos, entertainment, and here's to many more. Looking forward to more guest writing next season.